Things More Likely to Save You From Swine Flu Than Homeopathy
- Private island
- Gas mask
- Real medicine
- Aliens
- Mace
- Jesus (note: only if you’re in a Stephen King novel)
- Superman
- Your own immune system
A short recap for those stumbling upon Skepchick for the first time: homeopathy is nothing more than regular water, shaken up and packaged in boxes covered in lies and sold to people who don’t know any better. For a more thorough overview, see this post.
Mark, an official Friend of Skepchick, tweeted us a link to this ridiculous site trying to sell homeopathic remedies by capitalizing on the world’s panicked reaction to outbreaks of swine flu. Here are some highlights (bolding mine):
It is important for those more at risk to seek professional help from their homeopath, GP or health practitioner now. Constitutional treatment is the best way for anyone to strengthen the immune system and Helios would recommend consulting a homoeopath.
Sorry, no. Just . . . no. If you are “more at risk” to have a deadly infectious virus, like you just got back from a pig-licking tour of Mexico* where you were repeatedly sneezed on, then you should see a real medical professional. Homeopaths do not necessarily have medical degrees and all they can do is give you sugar water and then maybe contract swine flu from you and then you can die in one another’s arms, just like Romeo and Juliet only stupider, which is really saying something.
At present we do not have a nosode, i.e.a remedy made from the disease material. However, we do have existing remedies which have been used successfully over many years to treat all stages of flu. These are safe for everyone from babies to the elderly.
Man I am so hoping they manage to get their hot little hands on a vial of swine flu so they can bust that sucker open and dilute the crap out of it until they have their extra special magic water, which they can then drink to cure the swine flu they just gave themselves.
In the meantime, feel free to self-treat your deadly, human race-ending disease with a variety of other products, all of which are actually just water and therefore are, in fact, perfectly safe for everyone from babies to the elderly. Until they all die of the swine flu.
Homoeopathy has a long history in the treatment and prevention of epidemic diseases.
That part is true. Back when hospitals were rife with infectious diseases and visiting the doctor was more likely to cause you harm than good, sitting at home and drinking a glass of water was a much better way to stem the spread of a virus. In fact, sitting at home and doing just about anything was better, but of course one should always stay hydrated. While you die of the swine flu.
That about sums up the total amount of good homeopathy has done for infectious disease.
However it must be stressed that there is at present only anecdotal and bibliographical evidence that homoeopathic prophylaxis works.
And there you have it! As the old joke goes: What do you call alternative medicine that works? Medicine.
Those of you who are worried about swine flu: skip the homeopathy, stay clear of crowded public spaces, wash your hands, talk to a doctor if you have symptoms, and calm the frig down because getting riled up is only going to weaken your immune system more. Oh, the irony!
*I’m kidding: you aren’t more at risk by licking pigs, but you are more at risk for being in an area with known cases, which includes parts of Mexico. But seriously, why are you licking pigs?
9. Licking a pig is more likely to cure you than homeopathy.
I tweeted this earlier but I think it applies…
Homeopathy: Ridiculous, hilarious and possibly delicious. :) (in reference to diluting a pig in water)
…and a friend mentioned that maybe the homeopaths could simply wash a pig and then shake the bath water and serve that as a remedy. Those wacky homeo’s.
My guess:
1. Our own immune system. And let me remind you that the first barrier of your own immune system is washing your hands always before preparing and serving meals, and always after going to the lavatory. You know: soap, rinse, dry. It’s even better than Tamiflu because you do not know which kind of neuraminidase (if any) you can find in your infecting viruses.
2. Real medicine.
3. Gas mask
4. Private island
5. Aliens
6. Mace (who is Mace?)
7. Jesus (who is Jesus?)
8. Superman (I know who is Superman)
8. Your own immune system
@Skepotter: That’s true. And a true example of homeopathy is just licking and infected pig. More than a 1e-20 dilution of infected pig skin scrap.
Can I just lick bacon? It’s part of a pig.
Death (May result from Homeopathy only treatment) WILL end ANY problems – phsical or mental – you may have.
How about a list of things more likely to kill you than swine flu? Here, I’ll start it off:
1. Homeopathy.
Take it away…
And cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze!
“8. Your own immune system”
As far as I can tell, one worry among health experts (i.e. those people in lab coats) is that this strain might be sufficiently different from other H1N1 strains that it would cause a cytokine storm, in which case having a strong immune system might actually work against you.
…maybe.
But seriously, why are you licking pigs?
I was having some custom bacon made, and I couldn’t decide which pig I wanted it made from.
I mean, how would you choose?
Pig licking?
http://growabrain.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/11/10/kissing_pig.jpg
1. Wash your hands
2. Cover your mouth when you cough.
3. Wash your hands.
4. Don’t kiss all those people in the bar who are hacking up a lung.
5. Wash your hands.
Did I forget to mention
6. Wash your hands.
Sorry. Using homeopathy to fight the swine flu is pretty silly. Getting all riled up about it is equally silly.
and don’t go gather with all your friends and share crackers and wine glasses on Sunday…
@Didac: Actually….
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/genomes/FLU/SwineFlu.html
granted, no guarantee of which you have, but you could certainly make a good educated guess.
Homeopathy aside, cannot wait to see all the anti vaccers protesting against any Swine ‘Flu vaccines that are developed…
@wbtittle, I think it is worth getting wound up about it, as it reminds us to be vigilant to help the unwary…
All you need is to seal your house up with plastic wrap and duct tape!
*too soon?*
But what do you do if you ARE Superman? (My previous manager continuously called me “Clark”.)
For that matter, i just don’t see what Superman could do to help anyone with this.
Today’s best reference:
I said “Swine flu”, not “Pigs flying”.
In regards to number 6, not only is Jesus not going to save you from swine flu, but you’re likely to get it from Jesus, so I would say Jesus is actually lower than homeopathy, because while homeopathy is not going to help, you probably won’t catch anything from it (unless they skipped on some of the dilution steps and actually have some active ingredient in it).
Swine flu was first seen in Mexico and it still is the number 1 country for cases. Hanging out with some Mexican dude probably isn’t a good idea, because even if Jesus didn’t go back to his homeland recently, you know, he might have come in contact with a friend or relative who’s more recently from Mexico or maybe he got a letter from a family member there or something.
I’m just saying. I don’t mean to be prejudiced, but if you’re going to get swine flu, there’s a higher than average probability that it came to you through a Mexican dude. So Jesus could very well be that dude. Because you know, if your name is Jesus, then chances are you’re Mexican.