Lots of people emailed me a ridiculous article on CNN’s site about what your zodiac sign says about your job. Because journalism is dead, CNN allows an advertiser (in this case, CareerBuilder.com) to hire a bonehead (in this case, Rachel Zupeck) to write an “article” that is really just a platform for promoting the business. Well guess what, CareerBuilder.com? Now thousands of rational people know you support bullshit, and will instead use Craigslist the next time they need a new job. Suck it.
I’m going to link to the article, but first, I’d like to propose a fun game. CareerBuilder (CB) issued a survey, took the results, and confused correlation and causation. In other words, if the survey showed that slightly more people who are Virgos like to surf for porn at work, CB decided that must mean these people like to get pervy on the clock because they are Virgos. Never mind that all those people may have something else in common that is the actual cause of their porn-habit, like, say, not getting enough hugs from Dad as a kid.
So anyway, the results were split up by zodiac sign and then vomited into this “article.” I’ve taken the key career traits of each sign, removed the name of the sign, mixed them up, and printed them after the jump. Read through, and then comment below with the description you think matches you, along with what your sign really is. Then, you can click through to the article to see how close you were. Come back and tell us how you did. Be honest! It’s more fun that way.
- Most XXX affirmed working in government, construction, hotel/recreation and education, according to the survey. As assertive, outspoken, confident and dynamic people, those choice professions should speak well to their characters.
- XXX’s need a profession that keeps them motivated and interested — no two days at work should be the same. XXX from the survey reported working such jobs as art/design/architecture, nursing and personal care, sales, law enforcement, firefighting and machine operation — all of which are right up XXX’s alley.
- Independent, humane, innovative, unconventional and visionary are all adjectives that describe XXX. Jobs suited for these character traits include astronomy, photography, aviation and computer technology. XXXs who responded to the survey reported holding jobs in sales, military, engineering, mechanics, food preparation, facilities management and transportation.
- XXX are diplomatic and sociable — they need human interaction in order to be happy in a career. They are also easy-going, cooperative and are able to reach a compromise easily. Taking all of these factors into consideration, XXX from the survey are on course as they work in government, social work, advertising, machine operation, law enforcement, firefighting, sales and education.
- XXX are spiritual, positive and ethical; they also love to travel and learn new skills. Editing/writing, marketing/public relations, entertainment, hotel/recreation, IT and military, the careers reported in the survey, are all fitting for XXX.
- XXX are persistent, responsible and dogmatic; they thrive in positions of power and where you can apply your common sense. XXX reported working in art/design/architecture, nursing, science, IT, sales, farming and food preparation, which are all fitting to this zodiac.
- XXX are empathetic, caring, unselfish and spiritual, which combine well with healing or compassionate professions like health care, social work or philanthropy. XXX in the survey are on the right track, reporting working in such careers as social work, personal care, IT and facilities management.
- XXX are reliable, practical and honest; they are methodical and work well in teams. Additionally, these folks like jobs that deal with artistic or extravagant things. Compatible professions include jobs in finance, accounting and interior design. Nursing, engineering, law, marketing, public relations and higher education also fit the bill for jobs attuned to XXX — good thing those are jobs they reported in the survey.
- XXX are energetic, kindhearted, imaginative and protective. Their personalities usually fare well in law, psychology, teaching or nursing. Survey respondents said they worked in government, legal services, advertising, higher education, machine operation, transportation and military, all of which are in line with XXX personality traits.
- Analytical, intuitive and resourceful, XXX are drawn to mystery and all things complex and abnormal. Occupations well-matched to this personality are in science, investigation or politics. XXX from the survey said they work in such careers as legal services, engineering, science, education, construction and skilled trades.
- XXX are detail-oriented with a passion for knowledge and meaning. Careers that require accuracy and research are well-suited to these folks. Some professions XXX reported in the survey included social work, sales, editing/writing and food preparation.
- XXX have a true lust for power and leadership. They are confident, optimistic and charismatic — they have no problem winning people over with their charm. Government, legal services, art/design/architecture, engineering, entertainment, real estate and education, are all areas suited for XXX; luckily those are the professions reported in the survey, too.
Did you pick your favorite? Now go see how you did.