Skepticism

TAM 6: Day Whatever (Possibly Not Safe For Work)

I’m alone in the biggest, coolest hotel suite I’ve ever been in. I see I have 222 e-mails (not too bad, a lot are Twitter notifications saying people have signed up to follow. Hello new Twitter friends!) The suite is a bit of a wreck, and I just finished going through all the alcohol and determining its relative worth in terms of quality of liquor and amount remaining in the bottle. Those that did not make the cut were sent down the drain. There’s a decorative bowl that was on a plate stand, now filled with chips. Someone left four or five nice skeptical books on the coffee table, next to a completely destroyed Gideon Bible. My favorite leftover of the party, though, is what I found in this very Firefox tab when I opened the laptop this morning. It was, and I quote: “Note to self: Winslow….hooker pissing in a smoothie.” I recall typing that because I related the following exchange with my buddy Winslow and decided the reaction it got was so good that I should keep it in my pocket for future use (um, a little off-color, just a warning):

ME: I really wanted a smoothie for breakfast but the girl at the coffee stand told me no one at the Flamingo offers a thing like that. How ridiculous! A place called “The Flamingo” should have a smoothie bar. So I ask how much for the banana, and she says “$1.49.” I say, “And how much for you to take that banana and put it in that blender behind you along with the yogurt in that cooler?” And she just stared at me.

WINSLOW: Well, it’s Vegas. She won’t make the smoothie for you, but you could easily pay a hooker fifty bucks to do it.

ME: Right, plus for an extra twenty she’ll piss on me.

So there’s the hooker, smoothie, piss joke. I’m not sure why when I typed it last night I made it sound like the hooker was pissing in the smoothie, that doesn’t even make sense.

Since I’ve already posted something so off-color, I’ll add this pic from last night’s party, of my friend Simon using one of the two bidets in the suite. Click to go to the TAM6 Flickr set.

And for those of you wondering, most of the party was broken up at midnight. I was so sure that this year we’d go all night, but we had a new issue pop up I wasn’t expecting. I told the hotel repeatedly that there would be a party, and they gave us a humongous party suite with a piano and everything, but! The windows didn’t open. The A/C was going full blast all night, but it was absolutely boiling, forcing people into the hallways. Sound levels can be semi-contained when inside a closed hotel suite, but thirty people in a hallway tend to make some noise whether they’re trying to be quiet or not, so unfortunately our neighbors complained and we had to kick 90% of the party out. About a dozen people hung out and helped clean up, and then helped polish off as much of the remaining liquor as possible. At some point, George Hrab arrived and played us some tunes on the piano. A clip will be appearing on my YouTube account in the next hour (it’s processing): http://www.youtube.com/user/rkwatson

Also? My phone just buzzed with a text message, so I climbed out of bed to get it. With perfect timing, the maid walked into my bedroom and saw me butt-ass naked with absolutely nothing nearby to cover up with. Awesome.

That’s my cue to go take a shower and get back to the Flamingo. I’ll post a wrap-up at some point, but it might not be until tomorrow since I take the red-eye out tonight. Thanks to everyone who came to the party last night!

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter or on Google+.

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20 Comments

  1. Just be lucky it was only the maid who walked in. I used to do troubleshooting on the TV set top boxes in the Wynn, and if we knocked and got no answer, and there was no DND sign on the door we’d waltz right in.

    Not that we’d object to you butt ass naked :P

    Also, the windows don’t open in most of the hotels on the strip anymore. They keep them sealed for 2 reasons: Keeping the overall temps in the building consistent without overworking the A/C, and building pressurization.

  2. Mabus is an insane troll/ spammer. He hits AtBC and Greg Laden (both have Delete on Sight policies).

    Although to his credit, I have to say it’s an ego boost to be CCd alongside Randi, Dawkins, Hitch, Elsberry, etc…

    I saved the first one for when I’m feeling a little insignificant.

    Thanks, freakshow.

  3. That mabus guy has been spamming a lot of us (not sure how I got onto his list) with huge long rants against Randi and TAM6 papers and…. really kooky rubbish.
    (Can’t recall the number of his emails I’ve deleted…)

  4. Ok, Rebecca, for next year’s Skepchick calendar you must pose in a hotel suite with a surprised look on your face and a cellphone in your hand. Cover yourself in whatever minimalist way you choose and make sure there are 4 skeptical books on the table and various liquor bottles strewn about.

    Oh, and a hooker making a smoothie while taking a piss in the background.

  5. Damnit it all! I knew I should have been a hotel maid!

    Well, at least it set us all up with a mental image worth repeating as well as the fun (if possibly not entirely correct) knowledge you sleep in the nude.

    Also, the girl at the counter was stupid, she should have just gave you a number (I’d have said maybe a dollar, or if I was me and not her, a smile) and mixed you a damned smoothie. Customer satisfaction and all that.

  6. Most hotels I’ve ever stayed in have a secondary dead bolt which only opens from the inside to keep housekeeping out. So either you were too inebriated to utilize it, or else you really wanted to be seen. I mean, first it was the see-through pants …

    Then you act all surprised about your party being broken up?
    “I was so sure that this year we’d go all night”
    You know you’re actually mighty proud of your perfect record! ;)

  7. Heard a rumor that the maid was working for one of those gossip mags wanting to get a good scoop by catching you in the act of a wild atheistic orgy. She was expecting to find you in bed with Penn & Teller, a couple of Cirque du Soleil acrobats, the whole cast of Spamalot and maybe one of Sigfreid and Roys tigers at the very least.

  8. I felt like I’d gone from a Lawrence of Arabia desert movie walking to Cesar’s to a French Foreign Legion sweltering in the Congo movie when I walked into the “party” suite. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s no humidity in Vegas. It was all concentrated in Rebecca’s suite. When I made my second trip to the bathroom to find a beer in the tub I had to grab a towel to mop my head with to avoid dripping sweat on anyone standing to close. Perhaps next year a letter of intent to the hotel explaining what exactly is meant by “PARTY” will help. Thanks for the all the work getting it set up Rebecca.

  9. No problem, James Fox (and Masala_Skeptic gets many props for all her help). It’s funny, when we were talking with the Caesar’s people, they were really great. “Oh yes, it’s made for parties….yes, lots of space….plenty of couches….only one bed…no abutting rooms…there’s a piano…no need to keep quiet…”

    I did ask about a balcony, because I knew there might be smokers and it might get stuffy, and they said that balconies are just not being built anymore in Vegas, due in part (one rep said) to too many people tumbling off them. When I got to the suite that afternoon, the first thing I did was find all the A/C controls and turn them up to full blast. Of course, that one thing ended up being our downfall. Damn you, insufficient A/C!

    On the plus side, 200 sweaty skeptics = sexy!

  10. @ Rebecca:

    This is only tangentially related to the topic, but I am seeing your YouTube account for the very first time, and I gotta say, it’s weird hear your voice come out of your face. I mean, your voice is a daily part of my life, and your face (or at least your avatar) is a daily part of my life. But they’re like two separate things in my mind, so it’s weird watching a video of you talking.

    That’s it. Sorry.

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