- Inkling Magazine counts down babe scientists on film.
- Virgin Mary apparitions recognized: “A Roman Catholic bishop said Sunday that the church has officially recognized that the Virgin Mary appeared to a 17th-century shepherd girl in the French Alps.” So has the investigation been going on all these years?
- Because he fears the phrase will be taken away from US currency, man wants to change name to “In God We Trust.”
- Animal shelters have trouble finding homes for black cats because too many people think they’re bad luck.
Black cats do NOT cause bad luck…. They sneak in at night and suck out the life essence which KILLS BABIES . Wait shouldnt this go in a previous post?
JOHNEA13: No, no – you’re thinking of what happens when you leave an electric fan running in the bedroom room at night. Totally different issue.
Not really. The cats are the common thread in this.
The black cats are kicked out of the homes because they are bad luck, so they take off to HollyWood to catch as easy ride with Babe scientists on film by doing the adorable kitten act. And if that doesn’t work out (who is more narcissistic – cats or actors?), they find some looney bishop who will find a pattern resembling the Virgin Mary in its litterbox, whereupon the cat declares itself god (what cat doesn’t) and it trusts itself.
Of course you could tie in the consiracy angle that the cat-gods use babies to deliver singing & rainbow crapping crabs in unmarked envelopes sealed with duct tape to unsuspecting victims. They have to KILL BABIES to silence the witnesses afterwards.
Oh, and the wizard/witch angle bit goes without saying.
Not a lot of people know this, but one of the most successful builders in London after the Great Fire of 1666 had been christened Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barbon, although he always went by the name Nicholas Barbon for some reason. His father was Praise-God Barbon, after whom the Barebones Parliament of 1653 was named.
Can I change my name to God Is Make Believe?
To Lyc:
Have you been sampling recipes from the cooking with cannabis cookbook?
Not at all. Besides I thought that THC had the be inhaled not ingested.
But in either case, how is my bored faux conspiracy theory any different than Virgin sightings, people with strange ideas for names, KILLS BABIES, or the ravings/beliefs of the more….interesting…specemins of humanity?
At least I didn’t pull a “Time Cube” and put my post in varying sized fonts, garish colours, and become obsessed with the number 4. :P
I can’t recall ever seeing a Skepchick thread devolve into such lunacy so quickly. My mind rays are working!
Black or not mankind should fear all cats! Except for mine he’s kind of dumb but loveable, at any rate cats are only biding their time studying our weakness’ and plotting their inevitable world domination. I for one welcome our new feline overlords.
teambanzai: Clearly you live the saying: dogs have owners, cats have staff.
I love the ladies of Inkling! I know we did a similar post here on Skepchick, but damned if I can find it. I may have imagined it. :( I’ll have what the rest of these lunatics are having.
Aha, I know the problem. It was in the online Skepchick magazine, the archives of which are slightly hidden until we can one day get them in line with the blog. Here’s the list, don’t pay any mind to the crappy formatting!
Absolutely I respect any animal that obviously has bigger ego than I.
You can either eat or smoke pot.
Random thing I learned from my sister’s cancer: medical THC is issued as a suppository.
Presumably this is to discourage sharing.
“Dude! Take a hit off my stash!”
“Uh. No thanks…..”
Rebecca, your list does has some other great additions, especially Jean Grey. And it’s good to remember the hot guy scientists.
I didn’t have trouble finding a home for Piglet the black cat. She found mine…along with the litter of four black kittens that was insider her. I did find homes for two of them…the other two freeloaders are probably asleep on couches while I’m here at work
I love the Alien movies (the original is one of my faves of all time and I even sorta don’t mind the AvP movies) but i don’t think it should get a pass on the HCM. Have we forgotten that in Aliens in between kicking all that Alien ass she managed to find the time to fall in love and adopt a kid?
“Can I change my name to God Is Make Believe?”
The was a woman who years ago changed her name to a web site address to promote vegetarianism…so I’m guessing yes.
If Nicholas (from the Greek for “The Victorâ€) Barbon and his contemporaries had liked rat killing cats better, perhaps the plague would have been less horrific. More black cats, less black death?
Rebecca: Great list of hot scientists. I’m thinking I’d share sheets with six or seven of them!
woah, bug girl, your sister must not live in California. suppositories? At the myriad “compassionate care” stores here, you can get edibles from cookies to ice cream to soda. Never heard of suppositories. I guess that would work if you couldn’t keep anything down.
Remember, the Egyptians used to worship cats as gods… cats certainly do.
Paraphernalia shops must now be called head and ass shops.
“Remember, the Egyptians used to worship cats as gods… cats certainly do.”
As the old joke says…
A dog sees a person who gives him food and water, plays with him, and cleans up after him. He says, “Wow, you must be a god!”
A cat sees a person who gives him food and water, plays with him, and cleans up after him. He says, “Wow, I must be a god!”
Interesting note on the ‘luck’ issue with black cats.
Everyone just accepts that western society thinks of black cats as unlucky. However, this wasn’t the case originally in Europe.
The original belief was that white cats were unlucky and that black cats were very lucky. This was because cats were considered to exist in both this world and the ‘other’ world at the same time, (as in able to see the dead, directly interact with spirits and such, etc… while still being of this world). So the belief was that white cats were white because they were more in the spirit world than ours and so had been bleached white by the spirit world while black cats were more solidly of this world.
Obviously, in that context, when people believed everything to do with the afterlife to be unlucky, (I mean.. I don’t want to rush into it or anything), a white cat that was bringing you closer to the spirit world was a bad thing.
Later, when Christianity expanded into Europe, this distinction was reversed as part of the general subversion and re-branding of all the ‘pagan’ beliefs and holidays to make them fit Christian structures, (in this case.. White = good, Black = bad; I have no idea where the origin of that one is though).
I just always find that funny. Even more, it often amuses me to point it out to non-religious people who are still superstitious – Make them wonder ‘who has it right’? ;)
“Can I change my name to God Is Make Believe?”
Only if I can change mine to “All others pay cash.”
That’s a shame about the cats. We had two blacks when I was growing up. One from a litter of kittens my cousin’s cat had, and one that was a stray. They were both great cats. The stray (Ralph) had to be put down last year at the very ripe age of 19. I cried.
I seem to remember reading somewhere that in some cultures, a black cat in the household is actually considered *good* luck. So there ya go.
My cat is grey. Just trying to keep my bases covered. However after his little Christmas-tree-lights AC current science experiment, self immolation attempt, and near death experience a few years ago, I think grey is a lucky color for the cat!
>>Black cats do NOT cause bad luck…. They sneak in at night and suck out the life essence which KILLS BABIES . Wait shouldnt this go in a previous post?
JOHNEA13 is right!
Unfortunately, I had suspected that black cats have more problems getting adopted for quite a while since my son and I volunteer at a cat shelter. The black cats are often lovely, but they always take longer to get adopted out if we can manage to do it at all. The other factor is that we’re less likely to put them in public showing areas (like a pet store that shall remain nameless) around Halloween as people will occasionally float applications for black cats for sick reasons around then. :(
JOHNEA13 is right!
Howard Johnson is right!
(This is anecdotal, but I don’t have the imagination to make this sort of stuff up.)
Many of my extended family are fundamentalists, and their “supernatural” thinking carries over into other avenues of their lives. Here are two examples.
After traveling nearly 250 miles a carload of four turns around and heads home, because a black cat crossed the road ahead of them. When they finally did arrive and explain their “ordeal”, they couldn’t seem to understand why my 12 year old jaw was nearly on the floor.
Another family member decided to be more aggressive during a trip. When a black cat (the same one maybe?) crossed the road in front of him, he tried to run over it with his car. Unfortunately, the cat was more agile and my relative ended up running into a fence and doing a substantial amount of damage to said fence and his car. When explaining what happened to my family, he blamed the cat for his bad luck, of course.
Thanks to my wonderful wife, I now have a black cat (named Casey). He’s a convenient obstacle to keeping my bright daughter from becoming exposed to such insanity before we’ve had the chance to explain how stupid some people can be.
“…When explaining what happened to my family, he blamed the cat for his bad luck, of course.”
Now that’s funny.
Bug Girl,
Oddly that might not discourage quite everybody.
Just sayin’.
“Unfortunately, the cat was more agile and my relative ended up running into a fence and doing a substantial amount of damage to said fence and his car.”
I know he’s family, but didn’t you mean “fortunately”? what kind of asshole tries to kill a cat?
@ whitebird:
Yes, I should have put fortunately, or at least “Unfortunately for him,…”.
One who takes Leviticus (specifically Lev 19:31 from the KJV) way too seriously, thinks the Earth is less than 10K y/o (and also thinks scientist are hiding the truth from kids), thinks ToE is a lie but also thinks it means “we came from monkeys”, etc.