I cannot tell you how glad I am that this week is almost over. While I feel I have done little to actually make the world aware of the horse meconium that is homeopathic medicine, I do give myself credit for fighting the good fight on this one. Anyone who has spent 6 days straight researching homeopathy understands. It eats your brain. Every post I have made since Thursday has been in spite of this research causing me to lose 10 IQ points per day. If this were Homeopathy Awareness Month, by the end of it I’d be so stupid I might actually start thinking succussion makes perfect logical sense when you actually use a leather bible.
Tonight I’m going to talk to you about mint. Apparently mint is the antidote for all homeopathic remedies. Why? Because it smells all minty. Yes, catching a whiff of mint can undo all the good your homeopath has done, even if you are taking a remedy so powerful the zeros on it’s dilution rate would exceed the digits of pi. Mint is the greatest anti-homeopathic villain of all time.
To be fair, MarlowePI pointed out in the WHAW Day 5 comments that, according to Natural Products Marketplace:
There has never been a scientific study showing peppermint adversely impacting a homeopathic treatment.
and they go on to say
…Don’t let customers miss out on the mint. Encourage them to drink mint tea for a refreshing lift, to brush their teeth with a mint toothpaste, or even use a minted soap or shampoo. Growing peppermint in the garden or on a window sill makes a wonderful addition to iced tea or salads. Just remind your customers that homeopathic medicines can be very subtle: give the remedies a chance to begin their healing action; then they can enjoy aromatherapy, garlic, spices, herbs and teas and gain the full benefit of all their chosen products.
They say there have been no scientific studies showing mint to be contraindicated with homeopathic remedies. But you have to remember that science can’t prove everything! How dare this site go on to recommend toothpaste and tea and gardening, claiming harmlessness and using the same “science” that gave us allopathic medicine! These people are not real homeopaths.
The reason they’re telling you this is because they are selling homeopathic products. If you have a mojito and it renders your remedy worthless, you’re going to come back to them for a different remedy. They just want you to spend more money. (I think this site is run by the drug companies that are withholding their stockpiles of cancer cures because putting those cures on the market will be the end of BigPharma’s reign of universe-dominating power.)
Mint is okay? Are they serious? What is this? Communist Russia? Go back to Mexico, you mint-loving Canadian Commie bastards! This is America! And we won’t stand for you trying to kill our children by mixing your smelly mint with our diluted arsenic!
I found the best, most reliable source that I could find on this subject: a Geocities page (last updated in June of 1999) titled “Guidelines for taking Homeopahtic Remedies” from the first page of Google results on “homeopathy” and “mint”. This page tells me what I want to hear about mint being bad, therefore it is correct.
– Homeopathic Remedy Antidotes – Homeopathic remedies are essentially vibrational medicine, and they are easily overwhelmed by other strong material vibrations.
Do homeopaths ever get tired of serving me up easy masturbation jokes? I feel guilty taking this one and running with it.
But seriously, it’s in giant red letters so you really do need to try to stay away from mint flavored vibrators.
Along with vibrators and mint juleps, here is a list of all the other things that will cause your homeopathic remedy to stop vibrating properly:
Try to avoid anything with coffee flavor, mint, camphor, menthol, large quantities of caffeine, or chamomile externally or internally. For example: avoid mint flavored toothpastes, chewing gums, and mouthwashes (mint and menthol); menthol lozenges and candies; coffee, even decaffeinated or coffee flavored ice cream or candies. If you must have caffeine get it from tea or caffinated soda. Avoid Noxema products and Tiger Balm (camphor); etc. Try also to avoid very strong aromatics or toxic odors like eucalyptus, wintergreen, peppermint, essential oils like patchouli, strong perfumes, strong after-shave and soap, smelly chemicals, moth-balls. If you drink alcohol, avoid extremes. If you smoke marijuana, try to avoid it during treatment because it is a high and aromatic. Do not place your remedies in close contact with magnets. It is best to avoid drugging of any kind, but especially steroids and opiates. These can overpower and antidote your remedy. If you will not or cannot avoid these factors, it is best to use LM potencies.
Candy, coffee, ice cream, soap, face wash, anything with perfume in it, lip balm, chewing gum, breath fresheners, deodorant, pot and walking near refrigerator magnets (among many other things) could all cause your medication to completely stop working.
Or perhaps your “medicine” never worked in the first place.
So that’s the deal with mint. It is an evil vibrator on a mission to destroy homeopathy.
Now I am going downstairs. I am going to make myself a caipirinha. I am going to enjoy that minty beverage while I try to cope with the fact that I am spending a week of my life trying to defend the case against going to a “doctor” who believes mint-flavored sex toys are the only things stopping magic water from curing AIDS.