Religion

Sex and the single Christian…

I’m heading to NY for the weekend, alas a week too late to catch Rebecca’s presentation! I just wanted to post about this absurd yet somehow fun topic:

x-gay therapist on the evils of spanking the monkey
video preview

I think anyone who says they don’t masturbate has got to be a liar. Sorry, but just sayin’.

Apparently masturbation is still considered a sin by many religious folks (and by Christians who don’t think they are religious). I just wrote a section on how I accidentally discovered masturbation for my book, but I don’t think I want to post that scene on the internet. :-) Fortunately for me, although I bought into the no-sex-before-marriage idea when I was a teen and twenty-something, I didn’t know that masturbation was sinful. In fact, for the longest time, I didn’t even connect it with sex. I was a pretty stupid kid. Oy.

The ex-gay part of this story makes me sad. I knew the very first guy who was de-gayed by prayer and exorcism back in the early 80s. He used to have his story on his website, but he’s taken it down, so I guess I won’t mention his name here. He got married and had a couple of beautiful daughters before realizing his ex-gay life was a sham and he’d been caught up in the rush of being in the limelight as a role model for other young gay men. There were so many gay students where I went to Bible school, it is really funny in retrospect. And tragic. One of my good friends shot herself in the head after attending the Bible school. I’m pretty sure a big part of her despair was over the fact that she was a lesbian but couldn’t tell anyone about it and was not “cured.” I wish I could go back and change so much that I did and said in those days. In a way, everything I’m doing as an atheist and skeptic is a kind of pennance. Is that sick?

Sorry for the rambly message. I hope it is interesting to some of you even though I don’t have time today to polish my thoughts and make more sense out of them. Enjoy the weekend. I’ll be freezing my ass off staying in a motel on the beach on Long Island in the middle of winter.

writerdd

Donna Druchunas is a freelance technical writer and editor and a knitwear designer. When she's not working, she blogs, studies Lithuanian, reads science and sci-fi books, mouths off on atheist forums, and checks her email every three minutes. (She does that when she's working, too.) Although she loves to chat, she can't keep an IM program open or she'd never get anything else done.

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23 Comments

  1. I had a friend in college who claimed to be "master of his domain," as it were. He was actually a pretty religious fellow (Episcopalian, evolution denier, etc) and simultaneously an extremely nice, friendly, and (even to a straight dude like me) attractive and likeable fellow.

    We used to tease him about his claims, because despite all of his positive traits he was into self-pity and doomed himself to singledom. Naturally the first place we went was "Well, at least you can take care of your OWN needs…whoops, nevermind!"

  2. I have never met a guy (straight or gay) who HASN'T admitted to masturbation. Then again, I don't tend to be around nutty people like this guy. My idea is if you cant' get pleasure from yourself, you'll probably suck at giving it to anybody else.

    Thanks for the laugh.

  3. I just want to know where I can get a pair of underwear that "stimulates my sense of sexual power".

    Can you see if you can order some of those for the Skepchick store? Maybe you could do a buy-one-get-one-free special with the David Tennant underpants …

  4. Seriously though. Having grown up in the Christian community, I would bet good money that there are exactly two categories of Christians when it comes to this topic. First, those who tried it and had been so completely conditioned to think it was wrong that they felt guilty, and therefore decided it WAS wrong. (And probably continued to do it now and then anyway.) Second, those who tried it, realized it wasn't "sinful", and smirked inwardly any time they heard somebody ranting about it.

    Notice that I don't include the category of "those who have never tried it and never will". I don't think it exists.

  5. I wish I could go back and change so much that I did and said in those days. In a way, everything I’m doing as an atheist and skeptic is a kind of pennance. Is that sick?

    I don't think it's sick – I think that it's brave to face things you've done in the past that you no longer think were right. It's a hard thing to do. It's probably why some of the loudest zealots cling so desperately to their beliefs, because they lack the strength to question them.

    Oh, and masturbation rocks. That's all.

  6. I didn’t know that masturbation was sinful. In fact, for the longest time, I didn’t even connect it with sex. I was a pretty stupid kid. Oy.

    It's so funny that you say that. I didn't connect it with sex for a long time either; I remember reading Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret in probably fifth grade, and being HORRIFIED when I figured out what I had actually been doing. I managed to get myself un-horrified eventually. ;)

  7. In fact, for the longest time, I didn’t even connect it with sex. I was a pretty stupid kid. Oy.

    Actually, I think it is pretty damn normal. This is something normally discovered before you have any idea what it is. It certainly was for me.

    In a way, everything I’m doing as an atheist and skeptic is a kind of pennance. Is that sick?

    No. I don't think the idea of penance is unique to religion at all.

  8. Haven't there been several studies showing that masturbation significantly decreases the incidence of prostate cancer in men? Wouldn't that mean an omnipotent designer wanted you to spank it? Or, short of that, an omnipotent designer who just had a really f***ed up sense of humor for designing an activity that's fun, healthful, and doesn't hurt anybody, but is banned for being inherently "wrong" and whose very practice could get a one way ticket to eternal damnation. That's the kind of omnipotent designer who must have spent a lot of time burning ants with a magnifying glass in his younger days.

  9. I wish I could go back and change so much that I did and said in those days. In a way, everything I’m doing as an atheist and skeptic is a kind of pennance. Is that sick?

    Nope. Just human. You know better, so you're trying to do better. I believe that's called "growth."

  10. *shakes head* Some people never cease to amaze me. As friend OB likes to say: There are only two kinds of people in the world: Those who admit they masturbate, and liars.

  11. True story:

    As a teenager my family visited Christus Gardens (http://www.christusgardens.com/). I decided to buy a small replica of the main attraction, a relief carving of the face of Jesus that would follow you around the room. My rationale was that if Jesus was looking right at me, there would be no way I could bring myself to masturbate!

    Jesus spent a lot of time in a drawer. :-(

  12. Hmm, I think I knew what masturbation was before I even tried it.

    Then again, I remember climbing up one of the poles of the jungle-jim one day and discovering the pleasant tingling feeling in my lower abdomen (and getting confirmation from other kindergarten classmates that, yes, they felt that too). I was a corruptor at age 5. I rock! 8)

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