Skepticism

Masturbation Free Week!

It may have seemed like there was a lot of masturbation talk this week on Skepchick. But if you read carefully, you’ll see that this week was actually about not masturbating! We had Rebecca’s Orgasmatron which was about orgasming without sex or self-diddling. And we had writerdd talking about maturbation turning boys gay or something else equally as ridiculous involving sexually empowering underwear.

So in celebration of Skepchick’s unofficial masturbation-free week, I bring you the borderline NSFW video Resisting The Urge: A Guide For Christian Boys

[youtube:”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x45EOzMJA5o&feature=related”]

Yes, beat the demon! Beat it! Beat it!

And it seems that in Canada, kids are not understanding the message that masturbation is “self-abuse”. They seem to be discussing it openly… and they’re not ashamed of what they’re doing. In fact, at one high school, all the kids (except one liar) are doing it! And sex PhD. Brian Parker is saying this is a good thing; that it will result in a decrease in anorgasmia (the inability to achieve orgasm) in women since the condition is generally psychological. He says, “If they’re not comfortable with their genitals or with masturbating, it can inhibit sexual self-expression.”

He also says that people who masturbate are more likely to have happier, more fulfilling sex lives.

So, marking the end of our non-masturbation week, I urge you to put on your sexiest, most empowering underwear and find a phthalate-free way to celebrate yourself.

Elyse

Elyse MoFo Anders is the bad ass behind forming the Women Thinking, inc and the superhero who launched the Hug Me! I'm Vaccinated campaign as well as podcaster emeritus, writer, slacktivist extraordinaire, cancer survivor and sometimes runs marathons for charity. You probably think she's awesome so you follow her on twitter.

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28 Comments

  1. Hey, since girls don’t have their own demon to beat…

    There are plenty of demons around who would like a girl to beat them, I'm sure. Just ask and you'll find more than a couple here.

  2. Because this seemed entirely too silly to be true, it turns out it is. From Mr. Current's profile:

    "My videos are comedies. I am not a Christian."

    His "Checkmate Atheists" video is also comedy gold.

  3. Why is this fellow sitting backward in his chair?

    I suppose the chair back is some sort of protective shield.

    Or, it could be the opposite… he did say that even climbing a rope in gym class was a source of temptation! Let's hope the chair back is phthalate free ;)

  4. What if I’m blowing Gideon’s Trumpet and angels come out ? Maybe I need to do it again just to make sure.

    What if I’m blowing Gideon’s Trumpet and angels come out if? Maybe I need to do it again just to make sure.

    What if I’m blowing Gideon’s Trumpet and angels come out if? Maybe I need to do it again just to make sure.

    What if I’m blowing Gideon’s Trumpet and angels come out if? Maybe I need to do it again just to make sure.

  5. I must say, that entire video was nothing more than a five minute masturbation euphemism. Now if you’d excuse me, I need to release my angels so that they can beat the daemons of temptation.

  6. In fact, at one high school, all the kids (except one liar) are doing it!

    The one who claims not to be masturbating may be telling the truth. Some people are extremely late bloomers in discovering their sexuality (or in having it roadmapped for them). I was nearly out of high school myself before I started having sexual feelings, and I mostly learned about masturbation and all the rest from friends after that.

    (My grade school’s sex education class was so clinical and euphemistic as to be almost totally useless. No terms were ever defined in any way that made sense to me at the time, and of course the subject was such that I never felt comfortable asking a single question. About the only thing I learned from it was that you could not catch VD from a toilet seat — and then it was several years more before I got a clear idea of what “VD” meant.)

    Anyway, so I think it’s entirely possible that in any given high school of moderate size or greater, there could easily be a student or two who is unacquainted with masturbation. Sad, yes. Impossible, no.

    ~Wordplayer

  7. The one who claims not to be masturbating may be telling the truth. Some people are extremely late bloomers in discovering their sexuality (or in having it roadmapped for them).

    I'm sure the last hold-out actually was telling the truth, especially given that it was a girl. And, from the wording of the article, it sounds as if this survey was done in a if-you-masturbate-raise-your-hand style rather than an anonymous questionnaire.

    It was supposed to be a joke.

  8. Hang on, hang on, if every sperm is sacred and an angel dies if they die, what about my EGGS? What are they — powers, principalities, archangels? I’ve got way less of them than the boys have sperm, so they should count for more.

    Maybe that’s why it’s called The Curse … every time I have my cycle, an archangel dies. I really needed something else to feel guilty about anyway.

  9. And we had writerdd talking about maturbation turning boys gay

    Oh gawsh, if only! A world full of gay guys and awesome ladies might find me with a boyfriend AND awesome friends!

    Also, I wonder if masturbation turns girls gay, or just makes them really hot for the penis. Guess that depends on if masturbation increases same-sex desire, or just wanting penis. Must do a survey without being beaten!

  10. I’ve read somewhere that Roman mothers sometimes used to masturbate their babies to stop them from crying.
    Now there’s definitely an off switch if ever there was one.

    Not sure people nowadays would approve of the practice though.

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