Science

Does this make my vulva look fat?

You know, it’s bad enough, as a woman of a certain age, that I have to attempt to keep my underarms from flapping and my stomach sucked in. But now I have to have firm labia too???

If you haven’t heard of “vaginal rejuvenation” you can check out an example here. Oh, and don’t miss the “wonder woman” makeover:

“Wonder Woman Makeover.”  The most common is laser vaginal rejuvenation, laser reduction labioplasty, liposculpturing with Brazilian Butt Augmentation, and breast augmentation. As our patients put it cosmetic surgery may make you look good, however laser vaginal rejuvenation™ will make you fill good, …”

No, that is not a typo on my part. “Fill good.”
The absolute worst, though, is the “revirginification.” That’s right, spend $4000 to begin your marriage with a lie. (And pain.) Sure, it’s “empowering” to have your hoo ha carved up.

This isn’t just LA; these have become common procedures. Common enough, in fact, for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists to weigh in on what a pile of crap it all is:

So-called “vaginal rejuvenation,” “designer vaginoplasty,” “revirgination,” and “G-spot amplification” procedures are not medically indicated, nor is there documentation of their safety and effectiveness, said The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) today in a new Committee Opinion published in the September issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology. ….

“Many women don’t realize that the appearance of external genitals varies significantly from woman to woman. As ob-gyns, we know this to be the case from years of experience,” said Abbey B. Berenson, MD, a member of ACOG’s Committee on Gynecologic Practice. An honest discussion about the wide variation in the appearance of normal genitalia could reassure women who are insecure about the look of their own genitalia, said Dr. Berenson.

Cripes.
Women’s labia (and the rest of their bodies) change shape and color as they age. Deal with it.

*Bug Girl stomps off in a middle aged huff*

bug_girl

Bug_girl has a PhD in Entomology, and is a pointy-headed former academic living in Ohio. She is obsessed with insects, but otherwise perfectly normal. Really! If you want a daily stream of cool info about bugs, follow her Facebook page or find her on Twitter.

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14 Comments

  1. Jebus christos, that's fucking horrifying. I mean, I like a well-kept crotchal area, but damn, that's just off the deep end.

    That almost made me gag as much as the image of that porn star (Houston?) who had a labial defloration or whatever the fuck they call it, and had the piece of her labia sealed in plasticy stuff like it was a damn Mickey Mantle rookie card.

    What the hell is wrong with us as a species?

  2. That "fill good" line just about made me spew half-chewed M&M's all over my monitor!

    And here I thought it was only guys who worried that their sex organs didn't match up with the competition. Silly me!

  3. I have to point out that there .is. a need for vaginoplasty for some people – namely, male to female transsexuals. It is very hard to tell at the time of surgery how things will look after healing is done, which takes about a year. Necrosis, dilation, scarring, and infection are all things that are possible, and possibly probable, and once things heal it is often desirable to go back for 'revision' to work on the aesthetics and 'fix' anything that isn't 'normal'.

    I use a lot of quotes there because, really, if you think that natal women can be uncertain about their aesthetics, you have no idea how bad we trannies can be. I, for one, think my results are nothing short of stunning; but I am still only just over two months post op and it remains to be seen how it will look down the road, or if I will need to head back to Thailand for aesthetics. Thankfully, I went to the best surgeon in the world (IMHO!), who also has a lifetime guarantee on his work – said revisions are free other than travel and accommodation. =)

  4. anaglyph: This seems to be a corollary to that internet law about niche pornography. If you can imagine a type of cosmetic alteration, chances are there is an internet community devoted to that alteration.

  5. As much as I love QC, I'm certain that Rule 34 (though not necessarily the XKCD comic about it) predates Quantum Fetish Mechanics by quite some time.

    Anyway, yes, it's exactly like Rule 34, except about body mods instead of porn.

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