“it is unlawful for any person to knowingly distribute any obscene material or any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”–Alabama State Law
For Valentine’s Day, the Alabama Supreme court had the final word on a case that’s been rolling around for at least 8 years: Is it a sex crime to sell a strap-on?
The answer, apparently, is Yes.
Yes, it is.
One would have thought after the (very surprising, but happy) strike down of all US sodomy laws in 2003, that the fundamental right to privacy affirmed by the US Supreme Court would also apply to what you diddle yourself with at home.
Au contrare! See, this isn’t about sex, or your privacy. It’s about commerce. And that the state *can* regulate.
In fact, several other states restrict sales of even the most innocuous of Hello Kitty vibes: Georgia, Mississippi, and Texas. Coincidentally, these states all allow concealed carry of weapons, and have some of the loosest firearm restrictions in the US.
As boing boing so brilliantly said, under this law one could stroll down Alabama’s streets selling semiautomatic rifles and dildos, and be arrested for the dildos.
As I mentioned in my earlier rant about scrotums, I just don’t understand the mindset at work here. Apparently the risk of a person being exposed to these devices is so high, it’s worth using valuable police time to stage a sting operation to entrap a woman selling DIY fun.
I pondered why this ban on toys, but only sometimes porn, and here’s what I came up with:
The laws are made (99.99% of the time) by heterosexual men.
What do uptight hetero men fear?
- They fear gay men.
- They fear vibrators, because they think sex toys will do a better job stimulating women than they can.
I’m here to proclaim the gospel:
you have nothing to fear from vibes and lube.
First, gay men like other gay/bi men. The thrill of the chase isn’t about subduing unwilling prey. They don’t want your skanky ass, all flabby from thumping the bible instead of…well, anything else.
Second, vibrators are your friend. Don’t fear them–embrace them! Even the best carpenters use powertools. (See–a Manly Metaphor.) Also, read the Song of Solomon more often if you need inspiration.
Of course, this doesn’t solve the problem of uptight hetero women.
I kind of got a hint of what they’re thinking when I happened to catch CyberSeduction on cable the other night. It’s been called the Reefer Madness of porn addiction. I suspect the people that made that film are the same ones that are so afraid of a body they get a teacher fired for taking kids to a museum where they saw a nekkid statue.
What can we do for our uptight hetero sisters? Well, perhaps point out that more vibrator use will make them care less about the fact that few women are in the legislative bodies that write these laws, or that we still get paid 20% less than men.
Other than that, I’m too depressed to think about it anymore.
**A tip of the antenna to Rebecca, who gave me the post title.