Anti-Science

Today's Blog Brought to You Courtesy of Astrology.com

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about today, so I thought I’d head on over to astrology.com and see if their well-trained team of fortune tellers could help me get over this writer’s block. I entered my name and birth date, and here’s what they had to say.

Overview

Act now, ask questions later. Your instincts tell you the right step to take. Second-guessing yourself will just lead to more complications. Learn to trust what your gut is telling you and follow it.

Good advice! My instincts tell me that I should just use up today’s blog space to make fun of astrology.com readings.

Single’s Love


If you’re feeling good about your dating life, then you’re in the right mental space. If not, you need to rethink things — you may be putting too much emphasis on the wrong aspects of it.

This is a little complex for me to understand — allow me to simplify. If I’m happy, everything is good. If I’m not happy, I should change something. Hold on, I’m going to need a few minutes to absorb this information.

Work

The demands on your time are myriad, and multitasking’s the name of the game. Still, you’ll have to make some tough choices when it comes to prioritizing; will you put your own project or the group’s first?

I do have more than one thing to accomplish today at work, so this is completely true! Except that all my projects are “the group’s,” since I work as a member of a team. But still.

Flirt (??)

You’re in the middle of the good stuff, and might want to check in about how your people are doing. It could be that you’re inexplicably down — if so, you need to check yourself, because things really aren’t that bad.

First, what does this have to do with flirting? Second, the good stuff? Is this a veiled reference to cocaine? And my people? Who are my people? Does astrology.com assume I travel with a posse? Just in case, I’ll start asking around to make sure every person I know is okay.

Daily Cosmic Calendar

Controversy, confusion and chaos are on the rise due to a Neptune station and reversal of motion (6:07AM PDT) — activating 20 degrees of Aquarius. Neptune remains retrograde until October 29. Luckily, Neptune also has some extraordinarily positive qualities. All of its planetary themes — oceans and shipping, film and photography, music and dance, psychic sensitivity and clairvoyance, dreams and visions, creative imagination, spiritual insights and meditation, illusions and deceptions, hooks and addictions, drug and alcohol dependency — are intensified now and for the next couple of days. Recall yesterday’s suggestion to strive for clear communication to avoid breakdowns with key partners and business associates. Helping you move forward with greater self-confidence are the Moon entering Aries (6:25AM PDT), a Sun-Moon constructive sextile (8:48AM PDT) and Mercury-Saturn 60-degree relationship (10:59AM PDT). This latter alignment directs you toward serious and profound studies. A mentor’s pearls of wisdom will keep you on track. Love vibrations increase in wavelength as Venus in Aries moves 72 degrees to Chiron in Aquarius (3:05AM PDT). This sky pattern offers healing for recent wounds and pains suffered on the relationship front. Since Venus and Mars are about to form a frictional square tomorrow afternoon, create as much goodwill and understanding as you can tonight.

Okay, this is my favorite thus far. It’s just so specific! According to this, around 9am (my time) “controversy, confusion and chaos” were on the rise. I was just entering a small weekly meeting where I talked for a bit about seeing a Morrissey/Smiths cover band this weekend, then went over what I had on my schedule for this week. I had some tea. Between now and noon, I will be moving forward with greater self-confidence. I’m finishing up the tea, will complete this blog, get some work done, and maybe go for a bike ride at noon. Self-confidently.

I see that around 1pm I’ll be moved “toward serious and profound studies.” I’m quite looking forward to that, because usually that’s when I eat some crackers and browse Craig’s List. Maybe Thomas Mann posted something on Rants and Raves.

After work, things really get exciting. At 6pm, it looks like my love life will be heating up at the same time that I miraculously heal from all former nasty relationships, which I guess means I’ll be hitting the bars. I’m especially looking forward to creating “as much goodwill and understanding” as I can in preparation for tomorrow’s “friction.” The only trouble is that I didn’t even shave my legs this morning. That’ll teach me not to check my horoscope before I leave the house.

Rebecca Watson

Rebecca leads a team of skeptical female activists at Skepchick.org. She travels around the world delivering entertaining talks on science, atheism, feminism, and skepticism. There is currently an asteroid orbiting the sun with her name on it. You can follow her every fascinating move on Twitter or on Google+.

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7 Comments

  1. That's quite a day you have there: going from confused and chaotic to clairvoyant and insightful, then on to addiction followed by confidence and focus. And all this without the a single monkey!

    Hmm… I suppose the monkeys could be involved after you get drunk…

  2. You’re in the middle of the good stuff, and might want to check in about how your people are doing. It could be that you’re inexplicably down — if so, you need to check yourself, because things really aren’t that bad.

    Maybe, because you had to type in your name, they thought "OMG it's the secretary of the interior, quickly, add some stuff about "her people" in there !!"

  3. Actually, it says "Neptune station", as in stopping before appearing to move backwards. But I like the phrase too. Think of the funny things you could say, like: "conflict vibrations will end with Uranus-moon relationship".

  4. the astrology situation is really bad here in India, practically every important event has to be done at a particular date and time, even my results were announced today(wednesday) by my college because its supposed to be an auspicious day. I found this blog today and I think I'm going to really enjoy reading it!

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