Orgasms and Monkeys (Again)
“For your best orgasm ever, go vegetarian.”
So says Pam Anderson, quoted in the Sun and elsewhere. Strange words coming from a woman who probably consumes at least one animal product on a daily basis on her way to orgasm . . . but I digress. Everyone’s favorite Peta-phile was indicating that if you eat meat, you have clogged arteries and reduced blood flow, therefore you experience less pleasure during orgasm.
This is, of course, bullshit. It’s perfectly possible to eat a nice lean steak every now and again and still enjoy rocking orgasms, but expecting a Peta spokesperson to be scientifically honest is like expecting . . . well, it’s like expecting Peta to be scientifically honest. Speaking as a pseudo-vegetarian/piscivore, Peta does more harm than good to the animal rights movement, and silly headline grabbers like Anderson’s comment are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. They support terrorists like the Animal Liberation Front, they hypocritically break their own rules when it suits them, and they’re just really, really annoying.
I do want to reinforce the fact that I happen to love animals. I have two adorable cats I rescued from a shelter (as I’ve done for all my cats in the past), I pet dogs on the street, I used to love riding horses, and I want to be a marine biologist when I grow up (who doesn’t??). I would never take delight in the pain or death of an animal.
Which is why I’m very, very sad to report that BEARS ATE A MONKEY in front of zoo patrons last week. Bears. Ate a monkey. AT THE ZOO.
It’s so wrong, and yet so morbidly fascinating. Take a note, Peta — humans aren’t the only assholes in the food chain.